Forrest Johnson

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Bad food is behind the anxieties of the conservatives

Forrest Johnson

The Parade to Nowhere continues. Arguments that Social Security is failing continue to build across the large segment of the population that is consuming the bio-engineered and amply processed food made to keep cows and humans passive and well-fed while lowering intelligence at the same time.

A whole bunch of people use a different part of the brain than I do

Forrest Johnson

As I moseyed around the Tea Party rally at the Amsoil Arena on Sunday, I understood the truth of those words only too well. And from what I heard throughout the afternoon, it seems awfully easy to fool a majority. I was polite. I asked only innocuous questions, nothing personal. But I came to realize that most of the

Take populism back from the flim flam man

Forrest Johnson

I’m not quite sure how it happened that the New Conservative Neanderthal Party (NCNP), formerly the Republicans, has managed to pull the old switcheroo on the populist movement. The Tea Party, “The Rebellion to Stay the Same,” is also in on the heist, and I suppose to a lesser degree so are the religious factions who somehow have lost sight of the words from the original populist, one Jesus of Nazareth, t

National Union of Friendly Americans under assault—again

Forrest Johnson

The National Union of Friendly Americans (NUFA) held an emergency meeting at Camp Shack International Labor Temple early this week as the slave masters closed in on the hard-earned workplace gains earned over the past century, rights that have allowed freedom and dignity and a small measure of the democratic process to be exercised

The world has gone crazy

Forrest Johnson

The yellow bird with black wings flies past our patio here on the Mexican west coast. The now dry jungle crowds to the edge of the ocean and a few miles back in the hills the squatters eke out a living. Their meager fields host skinny goats and cows, a few stalks of maize and slight banana trees. In town, the familiar market has finally started to feel the loss of regular customers, a

There’s a world of worry and fear out there

Forrest Johnson

The motto “Learning more can’t hurt,” coined by the good folks at the North Shore Neighbors, sure is appropriate in these days of myopia, ignorance, and foolishness.

All we can do is try to be nice to each other

Forrest Johnson

“Just try to be nice to people,” my grandmother always said. “You can’t change who they are or why they are. All you can do is try to be nice to people.” My grandmother was a spiritual woman who believed in the ways of Jesus and knew how to get rid of warts by rubbing them with a piece of bacon under a full moon and then having a third party hide the bacon under a rock. It seemed to work. She could also find water with a forked willow stick, sang in

National Union of Friendly Americans under assault—again

Forrest Johnson

The National Union of Friendly Americans (NUFA) held an emergency meeting at Camp Shack International Labor Temple early this week as the slave masters closed in on the hard-earned workplace gains earned over the past century, rights that have...

The free market has me suspicious about the food market

Forrest Johnson

Oh, to be a capitalist, a free market capitalist, in the industrial grade food business. It can’t get any better as long as people still mate and produce more little consumers as blind as their parents when it comes to eating habits. Hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m no saint when it comes to the delights of food and the revving up of serotonin levels at the table of plenty. There are no kettle chips I can resist. The best I can do to exercise my will is not enter that aisle of bli

Kill the unions and the working class and bow to the economocracy

Forrest Johnson

Once again I’m trying to wrap my mind around an irony of sorts. The irony is much larger than my feeble leftist mind. Now the New Conservative Neanderthal Party (NCNP) is the compassionate party, the one to look out for the interests of ...

My debt ceiling will be raised once again

Forrest Johnson

Talk of raising the nation’s debt ceiling, minus the hubbedy-do we saw last summer they say, stirred me into fiscal action. Dredging up an idea from that recent past seemed appropriate.

The snow dance will be applied soon

Forrest Johnson

The results are in. The weather is screwy. In jest, my dad used to blame abnormal weather patterns on the Chinese. He even said they might be tinkering with gravity. But the problem is ...

Poor thinking a tough nut to crack

Forrest Johnson

Once again the National Union of Friendly Americans (NUFA) has been called upon to assist reticent nations and citizens in coming to terms with climate change.

The employees lose their jobs when the smoke clears

Forrest Johnson

Are you a parent? Are you a parent company? Would someone please tell me the difference between the two? What is a subsidiary? Would that be akin to a brother, a sister, a cousin?

NUFA creates Super Dooper Committee to solve deficit

Forrest Johnson

Doomed from the very beginning, the legislative “super committee” failed to craft a measure that would have begun to nibble away at the nation’s looming deficit. As the old saying goes, however, within every dark cloud is a silver lining.

Out of our realm and into cholesterol

Forrest Johnson

The Exalted Shack Master and a single subject recently paid a visit to faraway Camp Cholesterol and boy did we have fun. It is deer season after all.

The occupation of Camp Shack is underway

Forrest Johnson

The Occupy Camp Shack movement began in earnest last week only hours before the opening of deer season. The protesters, mired in the 90 percent of the population that controls 27 percent of the wealth, indicated it was their intention...