Forrest Johnson


Content By This Contributor:

Wed. Dec. 30th, 2015

The perfect oven and the holiday lutefisk

Forrest Johnson

Of course, adding color to the nearly translucent fish is helpful, especially when served on a white plate. You’ve got to have pretty good eyes to actually see the fish without the aid of it being hemmed in by peas and meatballs and a dinner roll.

Wed. Dec. 2nd, 2015

I’m not quite sure what Santa’s bringing you

Forrest Johnson

Built proudly by the Fishhouse Conservation Corps, with a zero gravity bathroom, barrel-hoop steering wheel, five-speed clutch, bucket seats and enough horsepower under that hood to break free of Earth’s gravitational pull

Tue. Nov. 24th, 2015

Election for Exalted Shack Master always the same

Forrest Johnson

He kind of looked like Napoleon standing there, head tipped back and hand on his chest when he said, as he does every year, “I like the sound of Exalted Shack Master. There’s some meat to that title.”

Wed. Nov. 11th, 2015

Marching band on the move for deer season

Forrest Johnson

The neighbor told police he tried to lure the elephant into his garage with a banana, what else do you lure an elephant with, he wondered, but the elephant dashed off when a dog started barking.

Thu. Oct. 29th, 2015

Reincarnation is possible when deer season approaches

Forrest Johnson

“We are here such a short while; we are in the great beyond forever….You live and go deer hunting and the big buck eludes you. But who cares? Life is short and then you die. What a life, eh?” --Happy Ole Hump

Wed. Sep. 23rd, 2015

NCNP will be restless when the pope comes to town

Forrest Johnson

Well, the nincompoops are still at it. Taking denial to papal lengths, at least one member of the New Conservative Neanderthal Party (NCNP), formerly the republicans

Wed. Sep. 9th, 2015

NUFA and the labor movement need your help

Forrest Johnson

Brandishing pitchforks and torches and commanding the airwaves, the slave masters have carefully obfuscated the facts about the rights of workers to engage in collective bargaining

Thu. Sep. 3rd, 2015

Take populism back from the flim flam man—Part 103

Forrest Johnson

The Tea Party, “The Rebellion to Stay the Same”, is also in on the heist and I suppose to a lesser degree so are the religious factions who somehow have lost sight of the words from the original populist, one Jesus of Nazareth

Thu. Aug. 20th, 2015

Camp Shack Meteorological and Tectonic Administration on the job

Forrest Johnson

Our latest skyward calculations have revealed the sun is rising higher into the sky every day. Here it is, the third week of August, a month before the fall equinox, and the giant gaseous orb located 93 million miles from us is radiating capable heat

Thu. Aug. 13th, 2015

2016 NUFA political alerts to begin early

Forrest Johnson

Not that we’re against elections here at NUFA. We just feel that elections as we imagine them, elections of the people, for the people and by the people, are quite a nostalgic and lost tradition here in the good old USA.