Best of the Northland

Ball Slashers

This band name is truly tied to the area after a young man named Christopher Bjerkness was caught for having an unusual fetish. News of his ball slashing exploits soon traveled around the area. “We we were all sitting around and thinking for a long time. We kind of wanted to name ourselves after something in Duluth that’s a little on the sour side. It’s Duluth, but not that happy part that everyone thinks about,” said Joe Ulvi on his band’s arrival on the band name. We asked Ulvi if Bjerkness really needs to be locked up. “We know that he hasn’t physically hurt anybody and he may not. Who knows? He might be a better person to hang out with over a lot of people like Donald Trump or something. It’s a thing too, where guys start out small and get big. It’s hard to say when it comes to something like that.” Regardless or whether Bjerkness is truly a danger to society or not, our readers thought that a band named after his actions was the best this year.