Best of the Northland

Don Ness

Nobody even dared to challenge the Don for his second term. His wit, charm and boyish good looks were no match for even the fiercest of opponents. Recently he’s been catching hell via email from racists all over the world for his support of the Unfair Campaign that’s working to stop racism. It’s taken a couple days and a couple hundred bucks, but he has sent roses and home-made cookies to all of them. Don Ness could charm a T-Rex. That’s why he’s been the people’s champ since he’s taken office.