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I have requested the federal government send me the voter rolls so I can personally mail to each and every MAGA believer the following column since they only get their fake news from closed-minded outlets.

Hello true believers of the decades-old “greatest con job in the world.” Now that greatest con artist Donald V. Rumpt can at the same time heal the sick and bomb a country without mercy, I am offering my help in this matter.

The combination of myopia and hearing loss is a serious malady across our country and a threat to our democracy as never before.

As I wrote previously, I will pay for a visit to the eye doctor and pay for glasses if need be, for any able-minded believer who can’t see Rumpt for the con man, liar and narcissist he is.

I will also pay for a visit to the hearing specialist for those who listen to his more than daily inane pronouncements and can’t hear clearly what he says. That form of self-chosen hearing loss is also a threat to our nation and its peoples.

I haven’t begun to discuss the relative and very selective amnesia that has afflicted the many who believe in the dismantling and demonizing of a government of the people, for the people and by the people.

Get into an argument with the pope. Threaten our friends and allies. Threaten the environment. Profit from the presidency. Send sputtering messages at 3 am. The list goes on with this guy.

And the latest hubbedy-do about that gaudy and profane triumphal arch in Washington that design plans show to be more gilded than Rumpt’s bathroom is another case to offer free eye and hearing tests for the MAGA faithful.

Is there no humility in the American Experience?

The National Union of Friendly Americans (NUFA) has for years supported a non-profit pull tab operation in the bar at the Great Hall of Camp Shack to help provide glasses, hearing aids and little packs of mental floss to help keep clear thoughts flowing through addled minds.

Nothing else seems to help. Facts and accurate information don’t penetrate MAGA thinking. The absolute reality of the January 6, 2021 insurrection won’t penetrate the wall of MAGA thinking. The absolute reality of ICE operations in Minnesota and across the country killing and arresting Americans won’t penetrate MAGA thinking.

On that front please remember, to be an undocumented immigrant is a civil offense, not a criminal offense. When the government started killing and detaining people for civil, not criminal offenses, it headed off in a new and threatening direction.

According to US law: Undocumented immigrants are in the U.S. without authorization, making their presence a civil infraction, not a criminal one. While they lack legal status, “illegal” is legally inaccurate as unauthorized presence is not a crime under federal criminal law.

Unlawful presence is a civil offense, which is why immigrants are held in civil detention, not criminal prisons.

In other words, those undocumented immigrants can’t simply be shot and killed for being in the country for a civil offense. It might be a little different comparing civil and criminal law but you can’t shoot someone over a parking ticket.

Now I read that the Dept. of Justice is moving to commute the sentences of the 1,600 Jan. 6 insurrectionists. Yes, they have been granted pardons by Rumpt for attacking the Capitol but now our justice department has decided to take any hint of the crimes off the record once and for all. Just another of the steps to rewrite history and make us feel good that there was no insurrection, there was no Jim Crow, there was no slavery or removal of native peoples from their lands. Put a statue of Christopher Columbus on the White House lawn to make things better even though he didn’t really find our shores in the first place.   

Maybe the allure of MAGA is that you see the world in a different dimension, a dimension where fear and loathing are like peaches and cream and nothing is wrong in the world, poor vision and a lack of hearing notwithstanding.