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Donald Trump has finally done something I can agree with. He’s putting an end to the Lincoln penny. I’ve collected them for years along with stamps, agates and history books, much to my better half’s chagrin.

Quite rightly, Trump is chagrined that the one-cent penny costs three cents to mint.

When my uncle Frank retired from his prosperous dental practice in trendy Boulder, Colorado, 30 years ago he and a buddy began an eccentric competition. They began hunting discarded pennies.
Frank could find a dollar’s worth in no time, especially when combing the local mall. Kids were tossing them by the bushel.

Penny hunts weren’t as remunerative as the five-cent deposit for aluminum cans. Why, a vagabond could buy a burger after an hour’s search in a ditch by the road.

Frank’s hunts were more of a lark, like reliving youthful hunts for fireflies. Or maybe my uncle’s jaundiced eye saw something ironic and worth documenting about the state of human affairs.

I was still in college when he told me that decades of fire suppression had made Colorado’s forests explosively combustible. This was two decades before Yellowstone Park went up in flames and fifty before California’s recent epic fires. Frank was a forward thinking fellow.

It was thanks to Frank that I started collecting coins in grade school. I found a small bag of pennies in my grandmother’s sleeping porch. Frank left them. It was the room that blew off in the 1966 tornado, taking my aunt Mary’s little black dog Toto with it (not its real name).

The bag contained some of the first Lincoln pennies dated 1909. There were also a dozen “Indianheads,” which went back before the 20th century.

Some of these pennies were so worn from years of circulation in pockets and purses that their dates and mint marks were barely visible. The S, D and P for the San Francisco, Denver and Philly mints were often the first things erased.

The coins continued through World War II and included some silver-colored zinc-covered steel pennies. Copper was needed for munitions.

Republicans waited a respectful 44 years before replacing an Indian chief with their party’s founder on the penny.  I’m not sure there are any Republicans today who would dare object to Trump’s attempt to put his mug on a dollar coin commemorating the 250th anniversary of the United States. It is no surprise coming from our gilded, Nobel-coveting attention seeker.

Of course, he would mimic a five-year-old shouting, “Mommy look at me,” as he jumps in his new ballroom for the hundredth time.

I can’t think of a better coin than the dollar for our impeachment escape artist. A long time ago I was told by a wise numismatist (coin expert) that Americans put their most important leaders on the smallest coins, stamps and bills. Having Lincoln on the penny and Washington on the one-dollar bill means that everybody sees their face multiple times a day. Sadly, my uncle’s penny hunts diminish that honor.

Trump is only ending the penny. Lincoln’s profile will not disappear any time soon. Hundreds of billions of pennies will take decades to fade away. It took 50 years for Indianhead’s to be swept into collections. People didn’t toss them away.

In contrast to my uncle’s bonanza. I’ve only ever found a single copper Indianhead penny. I spied it covered in green verdigris on the boulevard while walking home from elementary school.
Federal laws regulate how often coins change. The obverse side of Lincoln’s sagacious profile sported shocks of wheat for its first 50 years.

Fifty years later when Alaska and Hawaii joined the union in 1959, “wheat” was replaced with the Lincoln Memorial. For Lincoln’s “bicentiennial,” birthday, in 2009, four images of Lincoln’s life replaced the Lincoln Memorial.

Then, in 2010, the Memorial was replaced with a “union shield.”  Trump made sure it will not see out its full 50-year engagement.

Thomas Jefferson replaced a buffalo on the nickel when Abe got stamped on the penny in 1909. I’d be happy it we replaced five-cent Jefferson with Lincoln.

For those who might object because of Jefferson’s authorship of the Declaration of Independence and its hallowed words, “All men are created equal” I have an answer. Jefferson never meant to liberate his slaves. It took Lincoln and the 13th, 14th and 15th amendments to give life to Jefferson’s words.

It’s true that a sullen South managed to stifle them until just after the Civil War’s 1960 Centennial but you can’t blame Lincoln for that.

Mr. President. Pardon me if I’m too woke for you. I’ve seen your recent press conferences with the bust of a dejected Lincoln on your Resolute Desk. I saw you snooze through your Cabinet’s presentations. You’re not woke enough!

Oh, about “Toto.” Covered in mud he managed to find his way back a few days later. The house was off its foundation next to the street. It took a pretty penny to clean up the city.

Check out 20 years’ worth of Welty at lincolndemocrat.com.