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I fired off a letter last week to the guy now living in the White House.

It was approved by the National Union of Friendly Americans (NUFA). 

It went like this.

“Your Royal Highness,

You don’t fool me. You are a boob and a con man.

You likely won’t admit to being a boob, and a vindictive one at that, but you know better than anyone that you’re a con man.

You and your handlers, a mix of media moguls, right wing influencers and billionaires, along with a lap dog Congress and timid judiciary, have pulled the wool over the eyes of the gullible half of the nation.

Like any good con man, and I admit you are a darned good one, you understand that in order for the con to be successful you first need a significant segment of the population willing to be conned.

Welcome to America and the latest round of propaganda and grievance. The con can’t get any easier with that formula in place. People are just begging to be conned. It feels that good I guess.

Oh, and the fact that any semblance of truth on the internet and social media is gone effectively means the airwaves have been lost. Viable sources of information have been put out to pasture so the con is on.

You are a boob and a con man.
Sincerely,
Forrest Johnson”

Folks made a martyr out of a shooting victim and inveterate liar. I knew it wouldn’t be long before said con man was invoking the God card, musing that he was chosen by the big guy upstairs to lead the nation into chaos and scare the world while he was at it. Just like God in the Old Testament. A tough guy. No mercy in this deity. Rattle the sabers and threaten the poor and non-believers. Loyalty is the only thing that will answer the prayers of the conned. 

Geez, the guy scares dogs and small children.

Fed a steady diet of grievance and fear for decades now, a percentage of the populace was primed for a con. And along came Rumpt, the con job specialist. Perhaps if he had taught the art of the con at his Rumpt University instead of telling people how to sell real estate the school might have stayed open and not been ordered to pay out $25 million in fines to disgruntled students.

I read somewhere that Norman Vincent Peale, author of How To Make Friends And Influence People, was the Rumpt family swami, pastor and influencer. Mix Peale in with old family lawyer and in-house con man Roy Cohn and bingo, you get a character like Rumpt in no time. Papa Rumpt must have been proud of his Frankenstein-like creation.

So here he is, scaring the populace while the villagers and townsfolk hide from the orange monster lurking outside their windows. The revamped FBI has rounded up all the torches and pitchforks so there will be no march on the castle any time soon.

In broad daylight the monster is on the loose and the con continues unabated.

For crying out loud, someone tie his shoelaces together when he’s not looking.

As a measure of civic duty, the National Union of Friendly Americans (NUFA) has been charged with organizing a con man march in his honor. Early plans indicate that crowds will gather and surround the White House in several concentric circles, one moving clockwise, another counter-clockwise, singing Seventy-six Trombones and a Big Parade while also chanting Con Man, Con Man in a capella. 

As details of the gathering are being prepared it is noted that Rumpt will remain at his golf course until further notice. Yes, as the world spins with war and climate change, as the wrestling lady at the former Dept. of Education teaches our youth how to effectively apply a half-nelson and a sleeper hold perfected by the one and only Verne Gagne, the Man Who Just Happens to be President goes golfing and claims Joe Biden is a robot.

Even my 15 year-old granddaughter wondered aloud recently, “Doesn’t he have better things to do than go golfing and plan a birthday parade for himself?”

Yes, he is proving himself to be a real good role model for the youth of the nation. Shiny shoes, a flag lapel pin and a handy falsification of the facts, a sneer at the people and a flap of hair folded carefully over the top of his head are all you need to be king in this propaganda universe.   

Our thought at NUFA was to lure the Monster back from Mar-a-lago with sacks of crypto currency and then create a large civil disturbance that would prevent the Monster from leaving the premises.

NUFA technicians will sneak close enough to disable all communications and cause government websites and Truth Social, Fox News and One America News to run a continuous loop of Marx Brothers movies and old cooking shows from Julia Child.   

As good law-abiding Americans, the least NUFA can do is to slow the clown show to a crawl for the time being as we all catch our breath.