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One of these men is a cheap sideshow attraction.

The world has an American pope. He was formerly Robert Prevost from LeRoy Brown’s South Side of Chicago. 

His brother told the most amazing story about the new Pope Leo XIV. When Bob was but a first grader an elderly neighbor lady said he would become the first American pope. It’s a prophecy that ranks with those in the Gospels.

At about that age Donald Trump punched his second-grade teacher in the eye. He boasted about it in his ghostwritten memoir Art of the Deal. That youthful action might also have been worthy of a prophecy. It could have anticipated a narcissist President putting a picture of himself as Pope on the taxpayer-funded White House website.

Before Pope Francis XIII fell ill my wife and I watched the movie Conclave. Despite its surreal ending it faithfully depicted the process of papal selection. 

I was not eager to lose Francis. Although I’m not a Catholic I was a fan. The more America’s Republicanized Catholic hierarchy fumed at Francis the more endearing I found him. 

Vice President Vance should ponder heaven’s waiting a day to summon the Pope to the Pearly Gates so that Francis could chide Vance for turning his back on the poor. This was not surprising. Francis took his name from a saint who gave up his wealth to minister to the poor.

Before the fourth and final vote I heard some newsroom chatter about how unlikely it was that an American cardinal could be selected. 

Two thoughts occurred to me. 

First. Because Trump’s Presidency has rekindled ugly Americanism the choice of an American seemed otherworldly. 

Second. Was it possible that the college of cardinals might see an American Pope as a counter weight to a President who belittled “shit hole” countries while imitating their kleptocracies?  

And then, Chicagoan Robert Prevost was elected Pope.

After the white smoke cleared, I learned of the first-grade prophecy and much more. I learned that like Francis, Cardinal Prevost chose a name that signaled concern for the common people. 

The last Pope Leo was a champion for working people in a time of industrial oppression. Pope Leo is damn near “woke.”

Francis sought cardinals who were like-minded. One of them was Robert Prevost, who Francis employed to find him more cardinals who were in touch with their inner Jesus. 

The Pope’s appointments in 13 years made up 80 percent of the cardinals who would vote for his successor. Most of them knew the down-to-earth American who helped them take on their mantles as “princes of the Church.”

Perhaps it should not have been such a surprise that they would remember Cardinal Prevost fondly.
From the balcony, Leo the 14th spoke fluent Spanish, as well as Italian. Before coming to the Vatican Prevost had spent 20 years in Peru. He even became a citizen of Peru. Leo the 14th, like Francis 13th in Argentina, ministered to Latin America’s poor. 

I didn’t grow up with old midwestern prejudices against Catholicism but I was aware of them. I knew my mom and dad were active in a protestant church in Topeka, Kansas. I knew Catholics had a pope and protestants didn’t. I recall driving past a Catholic church that was disgorging people with brown crosses painted on their foreheads. I’d never heard of Ash Wednesday before. 

When the 1960 election rolled around, I knew my mom’s Aunt Susie was sure that the Pope would run America if the “Irish Catholic” John Kennedy was elected president. My parents, who were voting for republican Richard Nixon, thought this was very funny. My dad disagreed with the idea of “papal infallibility” but had full confidence in the honor of the Democrat’s candidate. My dad even told me he approved of the Catholic church’s practice of confession. He thought God’s people should stay in touch with their humility. That’s a deal breaker for Donald Trump who has never confessed to anything.  

On the other hand, Trump is slippery. Like WC Fields paging through the Bible before his death Trump’s always “looking for loopholes.” He hasn’t backtracked from his boast that tariffs are the most beautiful word in the English language. However, after pushing to continue tax cuts for the rich and giving them more he’s suddenly telling his bootlickers in Congress to tax millionaires.

Could this have anything to do with the next 1,300 days after 100 days of promising that tariffs will bring back jobs? Wall Street doesn’t buy it so Trump may be hedging his bets. He doesn’t want to be the next Herbert Hoover. History is full of failures removed by the followers they let down.

There’s one more piece of papal history Donald Trump ought to remember. Pope John Paul II took office in 1978. He was Polish and the Soviet Union had a gun to Poland’s head. This Pope stood up to communist Russia. More than anyone else John Paul brought the Iron Curtain to its knees. 

Unlike John Paul, Donald Trump doesn’t seem to know who our nation’s friends and enemies are. Vladimir Putin’s FSB planted the rumor about Trump and the golden shower. The furor it caused cheated Trump out of the honeymoon he deserved after his first election. But ever since Trump’s humiliation at Putin hands, Donald Trump has been on his knees to the new Russian Tsar. 

Even now Trump is serving America’s Democracy up on a platter to the man who put a banana peel under his first term. 

Donald Trump is no President and he sure as hell is no Pope.

Welty drinks holy moly water at lincolndemocrat.com.