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One of my favorite misheard lyrics stories involves the first meeting of Bob Dylan and The Beatles. Bob reportedly brought them some marijuana in 1964, convinced they had declared their headiness in their massive 1964 hit “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” when they sang “I get high.”

What they actually sang was “I can’t hide.”

The result for The Beatles of that misheard lyric was a trip from teenybopper land to more heady music. John Lennon once referred to the 1966 Revolver as their pot album. 

There’s a name for misheard lyrics – mondegreen. I could tell you the story behind the word, but it’s not that interesting and you can look it up if you really need to know.

If you do look up misheard lyrics, you’ll run across lists that are always the same and sound most unlikely.

There’s just one that often shows up in these lists that sounds like a genuine example of a mondegreen – Jimi Hendrix singing in “Purple Haze”  “‘scuse me while I kiss this guy,” when, of course, he is singing “‘scuse me while I kiss the sky.”

But most sound ridiculous and unlikely, such as “Big Old Jed had a light on” for the Steve Miller Band’s “big old jetliner,” or “I wanna piece of bacon” for the Ramones’ “I wanna be sedated.”

Or this one: “I’ve got two chickens with parrot eyes!” I prefer that to the original lyrics of Eddie Money’s “I’ve got two tickets to Paradise, but that’s largely because I once had a neighbor who liked to sit at a table in her backyard drinking Busch, smoking cigarettes and playing Eddie Money on her boom box.

And this one, no, I don’t think so: “B-b-b-Betty in a dress” for Elton John’s “B-b-b-Benny and the Jets.”

And this one is just dumb: “Police have a dog” for Jose Feliciano’s very seasonal “Feliz Navidad.” Nope, just don’t believe anyone is that dumb. Oh, wait, Trump was re-elected wasn’t he. OK. Maybe there are a lot of someone’s dumb enough for this one.

I was reminded of mondegreens when a TV ad featured Canned Heat’s 1968 hit “Going Up the Country.”

From the first time I heard the song way back in the previous century, I thought the first two lines were:
“Goin’ up the country
Where the marijuana grows…”

Imagine my surprise when, many years after first hearing the song, I see the lyrics are really”
“I’m going up the country
Baby, don’t you wanna go?”

What? No. I don’t believe it because I still hear the second line as “Where the mar-i-ju-ana grows,” with distinct pauses between the syllables. Every time I hear it or stream it, I try to hear it as it was written, but I still do not hear anything like “Baby, don’t you wanna go.” I still hear Alan Wilson’s falsetto singing “Where the mar-i-ju-an-a grows.”

Here are  some others from a mondegreen website. I find most of these suspicious, but there are a couple of good ones among them:

“and there’s a wino down the road” for Led Zeppelin’s “and as we wind on down the road” in “Stairway to Heaven.”

“bake me a pie of love”  for “bring me a higher love” in Steve Winwood’s “Higher Love.”

“Everybody’s crazy ‘bout a shot glass man” for “everybody’s crazy ‘bout a sharp-dressed man” in ZZ Top’s “Sharp-Dressed Man.”

“secret Asian man” for Johnny River’s “Secret agent man.”

“you’ve got mud on your face, front disc brakes” for “you’ve got mud on your face, a big disgrace” in Queen’s “We Will Rock You”

"I’m standing in the middle of life with my pants behind me” for “I’m standing in the middle of life with my pains behind me” in The Pretenders’ “Middle of the Road.”

 “Everybody in a wholesale frock” for  “everybody in the whole cell block” in Elvis’ “Jailhouse Rock.

“a year has passed since I broke my nose” for “a year has passed since I wrote my note” in The Police’s “Message In a Bottle.”

"no dukes of hazzard in the classroom” for “no dark sarcasm in the classroom” in Pink Floyd’s “Another Brick In the Wall.”

“Jeremy’s smokin’ crack today” for “Jeremy spoke in class today” in Pearl Jam’s “Jeremy.”

“I’ve got a backache from loving you” for “I’ve got a bad case of loving you” from Robert Palmer’s “Loving You.”

“wrapped up like a douche, you know the rumor in the night” for “revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night” in Manfred Mann’s Earth Band’s “Blinded By the Light.”

“There’s a bathroom on the right” for “ “There’s a bad moon on the rise” from CCR’a “Bad Moon Rising.”

“The girl with the colitis goes by” for “The girl with kaleidoscope eyes” in The Beatles’ “Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds” or “She’s got a tic in her eye” for “She’s got a ticket to ride” from their “Ticket to Ride.”

“Makin’ carrot biscuits” for “Takin’ care of business” from the song of the same name by BTO.

“Hit me with your pet shark” for “Hit me with your best shot” from Pat Benatar’s song of the same name.

And, perhaps my personal favorite in the online list, “last night I wanked off some Dago” for “last night I dreamt of San Pedro” in Madonna’s “La Isla  Bonita,” a song I never knew existed until now.