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Last week was so cold that I opened the magic fridge to heat the house, and as if on command, a can of Earth Rider's North Tower Stout rolled out on its own volition.
OK. I get it. You want me to drink you. Happy to do so!
And, yes, all the beautiful dark flavors one would expect from a stout are there – you know the usual suspects: chocolatecoffeedarkfruits. I'm turning that into one word for stouts from now on.
Hey, this won a gold medal at the Great American Beer Fest in the oatmeal stout category, so there must be oats in there as well. There is often a distinct softness to an oatmeal stout that I did not specifically notice in the North Tower, but I only learned about the GABF category win after finishing the single can in my fridge. But, guaranteed, this is a fine stout.

But I still had a thirst when I finished, so I reached once more into the magic fridge with eyes shut tight and pulled out something completely different – Happy Fun Time, a Pineapple Tesseract from Karben4 Brewing of Madison, Wis.
What the frick is a tesseract? I looked it up and I still don't know what it is, but I can tell you what's in this can. It's a hefeweizen brewed with pineapple and toasted coconut. I love both those flavors, but try as I might, I get only the faintest hint of either pineapple or coconut. Instead there is a general unidentifiable fruitiness. I could easily say passionfruit (or lillikoi) rather than pineapple.

In a blind test I'm certain I could name the toasted coconut but not the pineapple in this sweetish wheat beer base
It's a pleasant drink. The cartoon character on the can reminds me of Spongebob and the name of the beer reminds me of the Ren & Stimpy "Happy Happy Joy Joy" song, so it's all good.
Tesseract? A wrinkle in time? I give up!