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The National Union of Friendly Americans (NUFA) has been summon-ed to lead the effort to rid the world of present quantities of anger, mistrust, fear and misinformation.

Rather than try to convince people who harbor present quantities of anger, mistrust, fear and misinformation that they have been duped and schmoozed into thinking that way, NUFA will in-stead be overtly and covertly friendly. Friendly, friendly, friendly.

At all times the millions of members of NUFA will approach every day with a friendly attitude and helpful intent. We will harass no one who has fallen prey to years of right wing talk radio and conservative doublespeak, the cesspool of internet and social media.

You’re going to see our smiling faces even in the face of angry hapless rhetoric spouting conspiracy theories that read like cartoons.

Only a friendly attitude will over-come such utter nonsense.

Friendly, friendly, friendly.

NUFA may sneak in a little playful mayhem on occasion, yes, but our actions will fall within simple, cordial fun. We may put a little dog crap in a paper bag and place it on the doorstep of Rush Limbaugh, light it and ring the doorbell.

We may send a rotten fish special de-livery to Mar-a-Lago or let the air out of the tires of Mitch McConnell just before he goes out to dinner with his fellow probates to figure out how to put the kibosh on anything we need to do in this country for the good of all.

We may make phone calls to obstinate Minnesota legislators asking them if their refrigerators are running and that they’d better catch them before they get away.

Send us your suggestions for fun pranks and innocent mayhem and we’ll sure try to get things rolling.

Friendly, friendly, friendly.

I believe a good number of Republicans will give in to The Big Friendly. What do they have to lose in a time like this with their party held hostage by angry mobs of all stripes. I even believe Q-anon followers will eventually give in to The Big Friendly. Oh yes, they’re as angry as the rest of them but anyone who would spend their days wallowing in such comical notions has to have a little mirth in them somewhere.

I’m not so sure of the angry white people who teach their children to hate. The KKK and the Proud Boys are just too mad for simple friendly gestures.

There are bad seeds who can’t be nudged or cajoled into friendly territory so why waste your energy.
Sorry, some people need to be knocked in the head before they can open their eyes.

Still, it’s the children we think about. All that hate is toxic for young minds and souls. The little children are innocent. I watch all the grandkids play with their pals of all colors and persuasions with malice toward none. They just play.

Hatred is a learned behavior so somehow we have to get to the child-ren. That bit of The Big Friendly we haven’t reckoned with quite yet but our crack social scientists and behavioral engineers are on the job around the clock searching for solutions.

Friendly, friendly, friendly.

A clown I once knew, a real clown with a smiley face, big shoes and a funny hat reminded me that friendly is all you can do in a troubled world. The last time I saw him was at an elementary school fundraiser where I was the star of the dunk tank. Spend a couple bucks and dunk the newspaper editor into cold water.

I’d sit up on my perch, wag my finger and warn the little kids not to run up and hit the round metal plate that dunked me time and again. They laughed and ran up and pushed the metal plate time after time. Even some of the parents would put the $2 into the bucket and walk up and dunk me.

I was outside drying off in the spring sun and there sat my friend the clown smoking a cigarette, looking pained. His big smiley face looked up at me and he told me about his latest heart attack and the cancer that was eating away inside of him. Still, when people walked by he would jump up and honk his little horn and do a happy dance for them.

Here was this dying man who could put a smile on his face and do his best to make people happy.

“What the hell,” he said. “Doesn’t do any good to grouse about things. Give them a little happy and you get happy.”

Now that’s a clown for you. Nothing like the clown Donald V. (for vindictive) Rumpt, a real fake clown who spends his life making life miser-able for people.

NUFA is going to be friendly, friendly, friendly.

Doesn’t do any good to grouse about things. Give them a little happy and you get happy.

Friendly, friendly, friendly.