Michael Bloomberg Opens an Office

Harry Welty

The Duluth office of a real billionaire attempting to checkmate Trump’s plunder.
The Duluth office of a real billionaire attempting to checkmate Trump’s plunder.

Like Snow White’s stepmother, Donald Trump visits a mirror every day to ask if he is still the most perfect person in the Kingdom. If he has the biggest hands. If he has the biggest bank account. If he is the fairest of them all. He’s had it all. He whittled a field of dwarfs down on the Republican side of the ticket in 2016. In 2020 he’s doing his best to say nice things about Bernie Sanders. It’s almost as if he’s hoping the grizzled old socialist scares Mitt Romney Republicans away from the abyss in the Fall election. But Trump’s mirror cracked recently. An even bigger bank account than his entered the fray.

I was startled last week to read that Michael Bloomberg was opening a campaign office in Duluth. It makes sense. Minnesota is an iffy state and he’s spending more money than Trump, the Republicans and all the Democrats combined.

So, Saturday I cruised by and parked opposite the headquarters where two staffers were struggling to pull off a huge vinyl sign plastered over the window. I ran over to lend a hand. In the ensuing tug-o-war I ended up on my keister, but we pulled them off. The following day thirty folks gathered to hear Michael Bloomberg’s Policy Director welcome them to the campaign. Sun streamed in through the window. It was a fine metaphor in our light deprived United States of Trump.

The policy director was Tim O’Brien a man you might have heard on NPR the night of the New Hampshire Primary. Tim joked that the state of Iowa had a new acronym. “Iowa Owes the World an Apology.” Things are chaotic in Will Roger’s party. Two of the former leaders in the Democratic race for the nomination dropped precipitously in the New Hampshire primary. So, does the Nation need an ex-Republican plutocrat as a Democrat to fight the ex-Democratic plutocrat who took over the Republican party? Maybe, if Iowa and New Hampshire are any indication.

Mr. Obrien used to cover New York’s Mayor Bloomberg. Over twenty years he also covered businessman Donald Trump. When he wrote the first serious biography of Trump fifteen years ago, “Trump Nation,” Trump took him to court for saying he wasn’t a billionaire. It didn’t help Trump’s case that he told the court thirty lies that were disproved in court. It’s no wonder why Trump’s lawyers were desperate to prevent Trump from speaking under oath to Robert Mueller.

I believe what I heard, that Bloomberg has only one goal. It is to prevent the reelection of Donald Trump. I’m sure Mike wouldn’t mind being President, but he has no intention of attacking any other Democratic candidate. The hundreds of millions he has already poured into the campaign are directed against Trump. Even if he doesn’t win the nomination his offices will transfer to the winning Democratic candidate and remain open through election day. Trump’s lone billion is no match for a challenger who has already donated 10 billion to charity. What’s a billion or two save the Republic? Trump sounded nervous today when he went to rally in New Hampshire and urged his supporters to vote in the Democratic primary for the weakest candidate. NPR just reported that Bernie is polling the highest tonight. I wonder how many Trump votes Sanders got?

Should Bloomberg win the nomination in a “brokered convention” he’ll go into the campaign with a plan for the second biggest taxes on the superrich of the Democratic candidates. Could any other Democratic President hope to pass such a law? A Republican Congress held Barack Obama scoreless for his last four years.

As a Jewish kid Bloomberg asked his middle-class Dad why he gave generous donations to the NAACP. His Dad told him that wherever there was injustice for one people there would be injustice for all people. That’s quite a contrast to Trump, the son of a multi-millionaire, who fought the Government into submission in court when they charged him for refusing to rent his properties to black families. As for Trump’s donations they tend to involve Trump portraits. Bloomberg’s plans for his sixty billion dollars is to give it all away before he dies and “bounce the check to his undertaker.”

I believe the local Bloomberg campaign is holding its official Open House next Sunday at 1PM. If I’m right I suspect there will be some Lawnsigns there for the taking and planting.


Harry Welty mocks Donald Trump by day in words and by night in snow.

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