Sorry immigrants, the country is plumb full

Forrest Johnson

I will now try to explain President Donald V. Rumpt’s immigration policy.


According to Rumpt, our country of 326 million Americans—85 per square mile—is plumb full. It’s standing room only according to Rumpt. 
Based on his calculations, there just isn’t any more room in this country until somebody dies. So take a number and we’ll call you when there’s an opening. That’s how we do immigration now. The fire marshall says we’re at capacity. 

Time to get tough. 
We’re plumb full.

Speaking late last week in Calexico, California, Rumpt shrugged his shoulders and laid out the facts according to him. “There is indeed an emergency on our southern border.” Commenting on the recent surge of Central American migrants heading toward the US to escape their homelands, Rumpt said, “It’s a colossal surge, and it’s overwhelming our immigration system. We can’t take you anymore. Our country is full.”

Rumpt earlier in the week threatened to shut down the entire southern border if Mexico didn’t stop the flow of illegal drugs Americans want so much from entering the country. Then, in a show of mercy, he gave Mexico a year to stop the drugs before he raised tariffs on imports, primarily automobiles. 

And then, only days later and showing the empathy he is known for, he praised Mexico for the four days of efforts they’d put toward keeping drugs and bad hombres from entering the US.
“Mexico has been absolutely terrific for the last four days,” he said. When asked about his change in plans he said, “I never changed my mind at all. I may shut it down at some point.”
Never one to hold back his lies, falsehoods, untruths, falsifications, fabrications and distortions, he then went on to say that all the talk of immigrant families with children was a hoax, even though immigration and border officials confirmed that at least half of the people arrested at the border or denied entry in March were families with children.

No, no, no, according to our Fearless Leader. Again, relying on the facts according to him, those people were all bad hombres, gang members coached by Latin American lawyers and activists to march in caravans a thousand miles to attack the border and threaten our nation.
“It’s a scam,” said Rumpt, a lifelong purveyor of the art of the scam. “It’s a hoax. I know about hoaxes. I just went through a hoax.”
Did I mention I was going to explain Rumpt’s immigration policy? It is one word long.


I won’t rely on my own version of events, however. According to an Associated Press story from last week Rumpt again didn’t let the lies, falsehoods, untruths, falsifications, fabrications and distortions rain on his parade.
According to the AP, “Trump, as he so often does, mixed fact with fiction when warning of the threat at the border. When complaining of the Flores legal settlement that governs treatment of migrant children and families, he blamed ‘Judge Flores, whoever you may be.’ But Flores was an unaccompanied 15-year-old girl from El Salvador.”

And now there is more blab in the right wing, fake Christian Blab-o-Sphere of taking immigration policy in a “tougher direction,” according to Rumpt, and we know that the President gets his policy from the right wing, fake Christian Blab-o-Sphere.
What does that mean, locking kids up in smaller cages than they were locked up in before, sending their parents away to uncertain fates when they’ve legally asked for asylum?
Well, the country is plumb full. No more room. Wait your turn until somebody dies and we’ll call you when there’s an opening. That’s how we do immigration now. The fire marshall says we’re at capacity.

Immigration policy, stupido.
Rumpt a stupido.