Dear President-elect Bozo,
I’m writing in reference to the fact that you are surrounding yourself with the kinds of clowns that scare children, not make them laugh. I’m also making it known that you are not the most popular clown yourself as you have lost the popular vote by millions of votes and can’t claim a clown mandate by any means.

   One of the things that the National Union of Friendly Americans (NUFA) does is revoke all rights and privileges of the clowns we feel have abandoned the tenets of the organization. First off, a clown is supposed to be friendly and happy, not mad. And a clown certainly doesn’t go against the will of the majority in any case.
According to the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, a clown is first and foremost: “A buffoon or jester who entertains by jokes, antics, and tricks, in a circus, play or other presentation.”
That, sir, is why you were elected.

   Now, the dictionary goes on to state that a clown is also: “A course, rude, vulgar person; a boor.” And while we can’t dispute you also fit those categories, we at NUFA believe that specific part of the description of a clown is more befitting your human characteristics than your characteristics that represent all the well-meaning clowns of the world, the ones in the Shriner parades that simply want to bring a little cheer and happiness to the world.

Which will it be President-elect Bozo? A happy clown or a boor?

   Remember, you have no mandate in this three-ring circus we call America.

   Still, you have now managed to appoint a host of bad clowns and angry clowns and clowns that refuse to accept the will of the people.

   I’m presently looking out my window at a very warm late November afternoon here in northern Minnesota. We will have winter at some point, maybe January or so, and this is very troubling to me. I will be sending you occasional letters regarding issues I feel are important and urgent.

   I might as well start with climate change.

   While you mentioned to the New York Times in a recent interview that you may have an open mind on the matter, your hiring of a known climate denier is not getting you off on a very good foot with the reality of the situation. This Myron Ebell, another angry clown, no doubt, is a spokesman for the Competitive Enterprise Institute which has been a front group for big tobacco, the petroleum industry, mining and manufacturing organizations, the pesticide industry, you name it. If it’s going to kill you or tear up the earth, the Competitive Enterprise Institute is your public relations advocate.

   This Ebell clown is to oversee the transition to the new administration at the Environmental Protection Agency and he has called global warming “silly” science. This is a clown with no scientific background and he recently said “The whole case for global warming I believe is silly. And I believe the vast majority of scientists think it’s silly.”

   Clowns are supposed to be silly. Entertaining. Happy. I’m sorry Mr. President-elect Bozo but pollution is not silly. Lost in all the idealogical denial of climate change is the fact that we’re talking about pollution. Pollution, pollution, pollution. We are filling our skies and waters with pollution beyond the planet’s ability to deal with it.    

    Mr. President-elect Bozo, please understand that we live in a closed system on this planet. We have 5-6 miles of atmosphere above our heads and that’s it. The gases good and bad don’t simply float off into space. The pollution doesn’t simply float off into space. Think of it this way. Take you and all your clown buddies and pile into that little circus car like you’ve done so many times in the past. Pack all you clowns in there and then drive into a garage and close the door and leave that little car running.

   What do you think happens, Mr. President-elect Bozo?

   Pretty soon, no more clowns piling out of that little circus car in the middle of the three-ring circus we call America.

   That’s what we’re doing to the planet, pal.

   I will continue to write to you as necessary.