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I reached into the magic fridge recently and pulled out a can of beer that felt like something else in the fridge had dripped on it, which is entirely possible due to the preponderance of beer. Other things have to be jammed in, and sometimes they leak because of the awkward but only angle that makes them fit.
So I gave the can a quick wash under the tap and dried it off, but still felt something on my hand when I touched the can. Then I looked more closely at the can and saw what looks like a white label pasted on the can that says in black ink “Tactical grip can to prevent slippage when fleeing.” That was a head scratcher to me. More on it later.
A textural layer has been applied to several spots on the can, the better to hold it with. Once I realized that, I ran my hand along it again and instead of spilled food it felt like the can had developed a bad case of hives.
While I generally do not hold onto a can because the contents are immediately poured into a glass upon cracking open the can, if I did, I can’t imagine any real slippage problems. But if that’s what you have to do these days to differentiate yourself from the craft brewer down the street, so be it. I guess I’d rather see the brewer’s money spent on the beer rather than on pimply beer cans, but who knows, maybe Tallgrass Brewing got an offer it couldn’t refuse on pimply beer can texture.
Anyway, what’s inside is the important part. It’s the Kansas brewery’s Zombie Monkey, a 6.2 percent robust porter. This is a lovely beer of high character and subtle flavors. The label states that it was “inspired by approximately true events.”
What?
I look at the can again and see another ring of type around the top that says “APOCALYPTIC PORTER.”
Puzzled, I go to the brewery website and learn that Zombie Monkey is “carefully brewed for the post-apocalyptic world to come” and that the full explanation for the “tactical grip” is so “your beer doesn’t slip while you’re fleeing from the undead.”
Oh. OK. I wonder if these guys like to play with their food as well? Naming a beer for a pop culture fad is only as smart as the length of the fad, and I guarantee you that one day soon people are going to move on from a fascination with zombies to something else. Would you drink a beer named Pokemon?
Anyway, excellent beer. I don’t think you have to buy into the zombie culture to enjoy Zombie Monkey.