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Did you ever hear you’re only suppose to go through one major life change at a time?  Why not a few?  I know I’m good with change but I may have bitten off a little more than even I can chew.  Let’s run it down:  daughter moves out to go to college, begin a new relationship, quit two jobs, move to a new city without a job in place, find a great job and start it within a week!  I would say, hey, I’m doing fine but my body would say SLOW DOWN or I’ll give you pneumonia, which it did.  It’s funny, one day I texted my daughter to share a few things I missed about her and she texts back, “Are you dying?”  I assured her I wasn’t and she fired back with “that was a cancer message.”  No, no life-threatening illnesses here, dear, I just miss you.

All of these changes are good ones, and it is all going well but I found myself thinking about it too hard one day and almost burst into tears.  That’s where the “let’s think about something else” game comes in and I start to think about the many, many blessings I have in place.  Even while hacking up a disgusting oyster from my “wild streak” new smoking habit, I can still look at the bright side.  Like realizing I haven’t been sick since I quit smoking six years ago, and four months into this:  pneumonia.  Linking smoking with sickness is definitely a good place to start in the quitting process.  Why on earth would I do something that makes me sick when feeling good feels so good?

My new job is the whole package, mellow people, jeans, great pay and benefits, 10 minutes from my house, and challenging work.  The first thing my new boss said to me in the interview was, “Hey, I’m a really laid-back guy...”  In my head bells and whistles went off and I knew, like you just know things sometimes, this was the place for me.  Especially when everything I asked was, “Whatever you want!”  It helps to work with someone you went to high school with and you have an instant rapport and so many memories.

Living by my hometown can be tricky.  One night I found myself sitting with three people, all of whom work with my mom.  I go outside to smoke, someone asks me my name and they, of course, went to school with my cousins.  My mom used to manage the local legion and EVERYONE knows her so you can imagine, I can’t jaywalk without it getting back to my mom – who had the distinct pleasure, in the past, of knowing only the good stuff.  I spared her the rest.  She is also the town prankster, which I find hilarious, but maybe her victims do not...so who hears about that?  Me!  Since I don’t have a single appropriate bone in my body, I show no sympathy and get a look like, “Yes, you are just like your mother!”

More good news, my daughter has landed the job that she has tried to get for two years.  No amount of pleading, rationalizing, “it’s just what you do” speeches could have enticed her into other work when that job hadn’t panned out yet.  Then I started to think, “Gee, I wonder where she got the idea to hold out for what she wanted?”  DUH!  Sometimes you can’t see your own lessons in the behavior, especially when you’re getting outside pressure from friends and family about her getting a job.  I thought I was doing and saying everything I could to encourage her into a job, but in her mind nothing than exactly what she wanted would do.  Then I think, “That’s my girl!”

When things are going well (okay, minus the smoking and pneumonia...) it can be a painful lesson in how your crowd reacts.  I’ve had the range from people I barely know being ecstatically happy for me to a friend practically dismissing me.  I can still be grateful, because I’m willing to see the truth, no matter how hard it hurts, than to have anything fake.  I didn’t know I was serving a purpose and when that perceived purpose was no longer available, then neither were they.  Total bullshit, I know, but life moves on.

It is wonderful to be around people I’ve known since I was 10 years old.  So maybe one of the major life changes about moving to a new city should be taken out, since I grew up 15 minutes from here.  My landlord has got to be one of the most genuinely nice people I’ve ever met and the house-share is more like a commune than just a house.  Just ask the ducks in the back yard, next to the huge garden, and get this:  she has made a vision board before AND keeps a gratitude journal, just like me.  She also has an Australian herder dog, which makes for a brother-sister relationship with my Australian Blue Heeler.  In the huge, fenced-in back yard, the dogs fight over the Elmo toy, or whichever toy the other dog has.  I love to see my dog running and playing so free.

So I soldier on, taking in all the changes.  I’ve had a few overwhelming days but who wouldn’t?  Acceptance is the key here and as objectionable as your mind can make that be, I’m staying in a state of gratitude.  Sometimes you have to let things go, even when it feels like your heart is torn like velcro,   and leave enough space in your life for what’s next, as wonderful, different, and scary as that can be.