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Everyone knows that summers in the Northland are part of why the winters are bearable year after year. This last winter tried even the most hearty of Northlanders. BBQs, nature and all sorts of activities are possible for a few short months and many of us make the most of the season. Gas money spent heating our homes becomes loosened up to adventure a little and get some sun. With these long days of warmth, it’s not always fun times in the sunshine up here. There’s always a few things to just make even a great thing like summer time seem kind of tedious and essentially awful.
 
10. People who complained about the cold and horrible weather during winter and now complain about the heat

The average annual temperature of Duluth is somewhere around 39 degrees and this is perhaps the desired temperature by many who live here year round. It’s not hot, but not particularly cold. With temperatures that can plunge to 40 below to flying over a 100 degrees all within a year, it can certainly throw some people off. Some people can’t make up their minds about which is worse, whether it’s in person or on a social networking site, they must constantly point out how much they hate both the heat and the cold. After this last winter, where we had nearly two months of non-stop below zero temperatures, those who complain about the handful of hot days should probably just keep that opinion to themselves.

9. Seagulls

A lone seagull hovering almost motionless against the wind is truly a serene sight. Watching seven seagulls screech and peck at each other over a Wendy’s wrapper on the ground is often a more common sight with these dirty flying shore rats. They’re greedy and soulless creatures that will beg and fight for handouts. We’d advise against feeding them and please pick up after yourself. They also take pride in doing their business on vehicles anywhere near a shoreline.   

8. Having to work on nice days and having rain on your days off

Unfortunately most employers don’t offer a “calling in well” plan. This depends on what job you have. If you’re a kayak tour guide or forest ranger, things might usually be wonderful on a nice day. If you’re stuck in an office or slinging food at a busy kitchen, working on a nice day can indeed be quite soul sucking at times. The last minute BBQs, camping outings, beach fires and other things that make summer worthwhile are robbed from you for a paycheck that’ll barely last until the next one comes in.
For the person working four to six days a week, it could be possible to be stuck working almost every single nice day out of the summer and whenever they have a day off, it’s raining or dreary. This brings us to our next crappy thing about summer.

7. Drastic fluctuations of temperature in a short period of time

A true Northlander will have at least a hoodie, flannel or light jacket with them at all times. It’s also common to always have a snow brush and ice scraper in the vehicle year round. It’s well known that that a beautiful 80 degree day can turn into a miserable 40 degree day with rain in a few hours. It’s not uncommon for notions of a fantastic summer evening to be smashed into a reality of a night at home watching a movie with the cat under a blanket.

6. Getting a summer cold

Maybe it’s all the fluctuations in weather or maybe the tourists bring it up, but getting a summer cold is truly a thing of woe. Instead of the cold wind whipping at your raw stuffy nose, now the heat mixes with that slightly raised body temp and those clogged up sinuses. Colds make any part of the year miserable if they set in but they can certainly get in the way of some spontaneous summer fun. There is something lost in bringing a box of tissues to the beach.

5. It’s really really hot and the water is really really cold

The air conditioning conked out at the office or it was a long day on the construction site. You get home and realize that your yard work obsessed neighbor’s yard is really putting you to shame. After almost an hour of mowing, you’re sweaty and gross. Then the thought comes into your head while the remaining hours of the day are now available to briefly enjoy. You’ll tell yourself, “how good would it be to just jump into that beautiful fresh body of water that lies just a short distance away?”  You’ll feel clean and refreshed, truly restored as you swim in that enticing lake.
Once you arrive, you realize that you have no sandals and don’t want to deal with sand in that particular pair of shoes for the next three months, so you go barefoot. The first step is sharp, the second burns a little more; after a few more steps the pace quickens until you make the beach and lay down a towel. On top of the sweaty grossness, you notice you’re just a tad paler than what seems acceptable for someone who is not dead, so you’ll try to bask in the warm rays for just a little while. It’s at this point the horse and sand flies make their move. You think nothing of brushing off the first one, then that one flies to the exact same spot you swatted it from, then another and another. Finally all hopes of peacefully listening to the short ripples of waves lap on to the shore while working on you tan turn into a reality of being eaten to alive by bloodsucking insects.
The time has come to make it down to the shoreline and jump in. You’re hoping it will be that somehow acceptable amount of cool but nice enough to spend some time in. You poke your foot in and leave it there as the blood retreats from it and nerves start throbbing from the shocking cold that was so different from the hot sand. Looking helplessly on the shore into the water’s edge you know that you didn’t come all the way down to the beach to not at least jump in.
Finally there’s the plunge and you’re surrounded in a sensation where the only enjoyable thing about it is that is the exact opposite in spectrums of discomfort. All blood at your exterior pulls inside and although the desire is there to stay in, the sensations of cramping in the hands and feet make it obvious that the day at the beach is coming to an end. You unwittingly put your sandy feet into the shoes you didn’t want sand in and drive home. At the rate the ice is melting on Lake Superior, which was completely covered in ice just a couple of months ago, the thought of swimming in the big lake won’t even be an issue until July, unless you have a masochistic side.

4. Bugs

We fully realize that there are way worse insects, spiders and other creepy crawlies in more Southern areas, but this isn’t a series of bitchy rants about the world, it’s a column on what sucks in the Northland. Besides tent caterpillars and those Asian lady beetles, we all know that ticks and mosquitoes are the most annoying and sometimes the biggest risk to health up here. A mosquito bite isn’t usually the end of the world, although it could be. The mosquito is the deadliest creature but a number of them can keep one busy itching themselves for days. Although mosquitoes can detract from a fun hike in the woods, what is worst is during the time right when you’re trying to sleep. It happens at home, but with camping, it’s just the way it is. Once a tired camper gets relaxed, the mosquito comes in with it’s whining little buzz that is just loud enough to hear. The wait for it to set down starts. Some go with a strategy of letting the vile bloodsucker set in for just a little while once it lands to take it out, some try striking at set down, either way a miss means the process will start all over again, and likely with a number of mosquitoes.
Every true Northlander notes the first tick of the year. Wood ticks aren’t especially awful, but when you find one on your person, you’ll swear you feel another which may or may not be there. Those who own dogs and go outdoors will often find a number of ticks on the animal. Deer Ticks can be quite unnerving to find because of Lyme’s disease. The most unfortunate will experience a rare but potent Brown Recluse bite.

3. Tourist Drivers

They’re either going way to fast and driving with needless aggression and lane changes with the mentality that they are still in the middle of a major city or they have no idea where they’re going and mysteriously slow down and speed up. They make sudden turns without using their turn signal or they leave their turn signal turned on and it blinks tauntingly at you as you’re stuck behind them for miles. They also take all the good parking spots and clog up traffic more with the construction.

2. Road Construction

The budget to plow our roads was stretched this year as snow storm after snow storm hit the Northland straight into May. Concerns about water main bursts and pot holes that can eat a tire whole will once again bring in massive construction projects happening all over town making convenient to get to places a living hell to navigate.
This year projects on our two bridges that connect Minnesota and Wisconsin have been postponed due to heavy traffic and backups. Unfortunately, maintenance is going to have to be done eventually and it is very possible for it to affect you.
What once took 12-15 minutes to get over the bridge before construction season, now takes upwards 30 minutes at certain times. The worst part about this is that gas is at record highs and more commute time equals more gas.

1. Too Short!

This whole column was supposed to tear into the things that suck about summer. In the end, summer is awesome. When you’re hot, sweaty and gross while covered in insect bites and stuck in traffic and the temperature is dropping, just remember, you’ll be scraping off your windshield every time you step in your vehicle for a lot more time in the year than these hot days of fun and minor inconveniences will last.