T’was the night before Christmas
And all over the earth
Good children were waiting
For the man of great girth
While at the North Pole
Ice melt was flowing
Santa Land’s borders
Were rockin’ and 
Mrs Santa cried 
Hold onto the toys
‘Tis climate a’warming
Stop those Koch boys!
Those oil slickers
Brains like Swiss 
With denial disease
In a race against time
The ice pack grew smaller
Elves worked without pay
Not even one dollar
Reindeer grew weak
But EPA’s Pruitt
Yelled, Oil is king!
The deer can starve 
Screw it!
Over in Russia
Trouble a’brewin’
Putin and playmate
Whole lotta screwin’
One Russian resident
Puttin’ on tricks
Seducing the US
Compromised President
Trust me dear Donny
Kim Jong lies to you
Blow up the world
That’s what you must do
December missiles
Hurled into the sky
Kaboom! Santa Land hit!
All plans gone awry

Republicans panicked
Ran for their Mother
Gen Kelly scurried
To run duck and cover!
U.S. subs surfaced
To rescue the toys
President Grump tweeted
Not so fast, boys!
Don’t search for Santa
Those toys are for me
He must pay his taxes
My toys are tax free

Doing their duty
Although it did suck!
They obeyed the order 
Feeling like, Yuck!

It was China’s fault
The liar tweeted later
Chinese toys are better
They make America greater
Behold: A tweet went out
over the land:
God bless the people
Homeless on drugs 
Crippled and cheated 
Victims of thugs 
The poor get nothing
Give them a scare
Lock them up 
Without Obamacare
Send love to gullible children
Who died at their desk
Shot with NRA guns
By kids sick and depressed
A graduate  of Sexony High
The Fake News President
Attained his degree in
Obstruction of evidence
The Whitehouse was stuffed
With Grump’s laundered stash
Behind boarded-up windows
1,000s of wet toys and cash
One smart girl named Joy
Discovered the plunder 
Detected the diversion
Cried out, No wonder!

When her letter to Santa
Was returned marked in red
“No address found,
Santa presumed dead.”
In an Arctic sea accident
Some said Santa had sunk
All toys destroyed
All kids in a funk
Joy wrote to the Treasury
For emergency funding
Instead she was charged
With illegal meddling
Before Joy was arrested
She had colluded
With 350 children
Minds not yet polluted

Grump sent out a tweet
Send that sad kid
To Guantanamo Bay
For telling the truth
Liars must pay!
I’ll sue her and friends
For failure to undress
And demand of her lawyers
No chance for redress!
Santa and Joy imprisoned 
At Guantanamo Bay
(Better than Texas, anyway) 
Could Santa’s elves save the day?
Resisting reindeer
Citing morality laws
Refused to build kiddie cages
Or mean border walls

A Judge Kavanaugh sentence
Something to fear
Locked in a bedroom
Jumping on Joy! Beer, beer, beer

The guards were weary
Of alternative facts
They baked sugar cookies
In Bush’s old torture vats
They helped kids build
Safe games and dolls
None of that plastic junk
Sold in the malls
Communist Cuba had a ban on
Right-wing radicals
Grump threatened the kids
With Christian fanaticals
Drug them, shoot them
Wipe out their butts
Let those kids beg!
More welfare cuts!
Call in all mortgages
Shut down public schools
Ignore climate disasters
And break all the rules

Christmas will be great again
It’s not so good now
But in the next century
Fantastic! Oh wow!
Santa delivered
To each kid a gift
Then, to the Grump House
To deliver his fist
Before he could lay it
On somebody’s nose
Rudolf the reindeer 
Spread his legs and rose
Over the chimney top
A stunned reindeer herd
When Rudolf took aim
And dropped a big turd
A warm blaze in the fireplace
Created quite a big stink
Grump blamed the General
“Phew!” he said with a blink

And to the nation
On Christmas Day
Tweeted the tweeter
In his nursery to play:
To my felonious friends
Who take from the poor
And give to the rich
So you can have more

I don’t trust you at all
With millions of dollars
(More than myself)
My colluding followers
Merry Christmas to McConnell, 
Grassley, Ryan and Hatch
Conyers, Alec and Graham
(Such a sad batch!)

You guys are the greatest
You know how to steal
You know how to pitch
The art of the deal.
We deserve much more
And trust me, you better
We’ll punish the public
Like Joy with her letter.
As Santa flew on his merry way
Grump raised a fist 
And yelled up to the sleigh
Those fake kids won’t vote!
I’ll be okay!
Santa, reindeer, elves and Joy
Truthful, resisting and wise
Those we can count on
When adults tell sad lies
If conservative Christians
Hadn’t Diebolted the choice
Sweet Bernie Sanders
May have been “foist”
Merry Christmas to all
And to all a good fight!
Copyright October 25, 2018 
© Judith Carol Stern