Putting other matters aside for the Genius among us

Forrest Johnson

With Polymet getting a draft to mine permit from the Minnesota DNR last week I was going to write this week about the latest in the folly of allowing copper-nickel mining in the Lake Superior and Hudson Bay watersheds of northeastern Minnesota. With exploration also happening in Aitkin and Carlton counties I guess I’d have to include the Mississippi River watershed in the mix of folly as well.

I’ll get to that soon.

I was also going to comment on the facts regarding climate change and how quickly things are warming worldwide, even as we feel the pinch of the Polar Vortex of 2017-2018 across northern Minnesota . I swell with pride when I see Embarrass as the cold spot of the nation at minus 45. Yes, we’ve had our fun with several weeks of below zero temps but watching Alaska has been a sobering exclamation point to rapid climate change. My fishing grounds in Bristol Bay at the head of the Bering Sea , and in much of the state all the way to the arctic, have seen winter weather that has been mild to say the least. Rivers aren’t freezing around the bay, snow is falling as rain and lifelong residents agree they’ve never seen such a bulge of warm weather forcing its way across the state. Ever.

But then the Genius chimed in. I’ll get to sulfide mining and climate change soon.

Yes, Payosa Loco, the Crazy Clown, Mr. Donald Rumpt, declared himself a genius last week in response to a book showing the disarray he sows wherever he goes and the lengths in which his loyal servants will cover for him as the nation goes down the tubes.

Did I mention that Rumpt is running a finger down the Obama scorecard and reversing every single presidential order the former president put in place because a New Conservative Neanderthal Party (NCNP) wouldn’t bargain for eight years of the Obama presidency?

It’s the old “go backwards as fast as you can” tactic of false populism made popular by despots and radio show hosts who’ve hijacked the truth in the name of the little guy. Yes, Rumpt is a genius for demolishing the structure of a civil society, for creating pollution and furthering inequality by his actions, to name just a couple of things, and for scaring dogs and nearly seventy percent of the population. 

Genius? No, he’s a dipshit and a moron and an asshole.

Not long ago my significant other, Susan, announced that Rumpt had been downgraded from asshole status down the evolutionary ladder to the status of moron. Afterall, he did pass the Standard Asshole and Moron Test, as administered by the good folks at the National Union of Friendly Americans (NUFA). 

NUFA members have long asked the simple question: when is an asshole good for anything? 

An asshole that lies his way out of any mess he himself creates has to be at the top of the list.   

My Canadian pal Robin put it well when listening to Rumpt and his wacky, troublesome dealings with the notion of truth.

“The truth of the lie,” is how he put it. “It is true, it is authentic, genuine, honest, that Rumpt lies. How could it be disputed by anyone other than the liar himself? Does anyone who pretends to believe him, just to keep things from going even more out of control, dispute the truth that he lies with impunity?”

I know I’m putting aside other pressing matters to pull my hair out over this guy. I’ll get to those other matters, I will. I have been meditating and drinking bourbon to keep my focus.

Still, I need to cross over to the other side again to ask questions like my friend Robin asks. I will listen to why someone would vote for an asshole who is a liar. Hand me the reasons, spell it out, tell me why. I’ll listen, really I will. I don’t want trouble with the Rumptsters when the nearly seventy percent of us once again go to the ballot box to force out Payosa Loco and the New Conservative Neanderthal Party and return some sense of sanity to the civil society, to once again move forward, not backward, in solving our problems not creating them, to take care of people and the planet.

As I’ve said before, Rumpt didn’t invent this lying business. Yes, he’s been at it for his entire life but he didn’t get the middle class white folks to vote against their own best interests over the past couple of decades. He just got elected a year ago, remember? Leading people out to the right wing pasture was a game created by the right wing blab-o-sphere at Fox News and talk radio and TV, you know the Limbaugh’s and Hannity’s and the evangelists that forgot who that Jesus guy was. Hey Rumptsters, you’ve been hoodwinked.

But I’ll listen. Just tell me why you mostly white working people would go along with a big hair, shiny-shoed faux billionaire. And you white ladies, you 53 percent of women who voted for the guy, why?  

Let the genius speak for himself.

“Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart.” He said he was a “VERY successful businessman” and television star who won the presidency on his first try. “I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius…and a very stable genius at that!”

Break that one down in a civics or psychology class. Even the class clown can’t come up with comedy like that.