With Eyes That Watch The World And Can’t Forget

Israel Malachi

The Iowa Caucus season is upon us! Even though Minnesota’s precinct caucuses aren’t held until March 1st, (Super Tuesday) this year, I think that many Minnesota eyes are on Iowa and New Hampshire. This Presidential election is not going to be so easy for either party. Sanders is close to Clinton in the polls, nobody can believe Trump is still a factor, and where is Jeb! Bush?

Is there any reliable way to predict what will happen next November? The sad answer is, no. We will have to endure months more of dirty tricks and half-truths, of bloated promises, meteoric rises and crashes and burns. Some people, however, pay close attention to certain attributes of each party’s nominee and can tender a pretty good guess, based on every other Presidential contest we have had since 1789. Adherents to the so-called “Atlantean Conspiracy” maintain that in each and every Presidential election, the candidate with closest genetic link to the English Royal Family has won.

In 2008 and 2012, McCain and Romney, respectively, were up against a blue-blood powerhouse, in the form of Barack Obama. That might surprise some readers, but his mother, Stanley Ann Dunham, was genetically well-connected. In addition to being George Washington’s 9th cousin, 6 times removed,

President Obama is:

William the Conquerer’s 22nd great grandson,
Mary I, Queen of Scots’s 3rd cousin 14 times removed,
Henry V, King of England’s 1st cousin 19 times removed,
Joseph Smith Jr.’s 10th cousin 6 times removed,
Henry VIII, King of England’s 1st cousin 16 times removed,
President John Tyler’s 10th cousin 5 times removed,
President James Madison’s 3rd cousin 8 times removed,
President Thomas Jefferson’s 10th cousin 6 times removed,
Anne Boleyn, Queen of England’s 1st cousin 15 times removed.     

Interesting, indeed. But which candidates are blue-bloods this time around? Well, as you can probably guess, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are the closest relatives to the Queen. Both are 14 steps removed from royalty. Ted Cruz is connected on his mother’s side, and is married to Heidi Nelson, Barack Obama’s 14th cousin once removed. Bernie Sanders is not closely connected to the royal family; his roots lie in Poland, so if he wins it all, he would break the 227 year streak.

The Atlantean Conspiracy holds that all of these coincidences point to a secret society of royals who are all connected to the Council on Foreign Relations in some way, or the Illuminati, or some other fraternity that rules the world. I respectfully reject that theory. I think that it is something deeper within us that shapes our choices.

A recent study conducted by Emory University School of Medicine found that mice passed emotional memory to their offspring by placing markers on specific genes of their DNA. I believe that this study could lead to proof that DNA carries memory as it is passed from generation to generation, and Americans, without even understanding why, are drawn to potential leaders who possess similar qualities that their ancestors possessed, namely, their ancestors, the Royal Family.

We will have to see what happens when voting starts, but I’m fairly confident that what has always happened in the past will continue to happen. The only poll that truly matters is one on Election Day.
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