News & Articles

In keeping to what is now apparently a congressional tradition thanks to the New Conservative Neanderthal Party (NCNP-formerly known as the Republicans), I am announcing my own personal shutdown, taking effect immediately.

I am very willing to compromise with the NCNP to stop my own personal shutdown of services but only if they agree to my demands. I will agree to scrap ObamaCare only if they agree to adopt universal health care and take it out of the hands of the health care plutocracy that now runs the show.

I am also very willing to compromise with the NCNP and scrap ObamaCare only if they agree to scrap the current industrial agricultural food system that has a direct impact on the nation’s health and waistline and instead adopt a healthy food and agricultural system that doesn’t slurp up all the available water and pollute the landscape with chemical fertilizers, pesticides and herbicides, not to mention the gutting of rural communities via the elimination of the small, family farm, the use of genetically modified crops and the growth hormones and antibiotics that prop up the industrial meat industry.

So, you see that I’m very willing to compromise. I discussed my proposals at length last weekend at Camp Shack during a National Union of Friendly Americans (NUFA) retreat last weekend as the government shutdown talk loomed. It was time for plenty of discussion at the shack bar and the personal bartenders were ringing the bell for another round in near continuous fashion. That little bell was singing.

I’m not sure if the time has passed to avert the looming crisis that may occur in the next few days as the Exalted Shack Master, giddy on rum and politics, took off toward Washington, D.C. to confront the NCNP headliners and offer a little compromising of his own.

Splendid in his buckskin coat with epaulets, cummerbund and crushed derby because he sleeps where he can, the Exalted Shack Master has an ego larger than Rhode Island and the zealots of the NCNP truly stand no chance in this debate. I was hoping they might strike the compromise with me before lightning strikes but so far they have refused to change their demands upon the American people.

The last time the Exalted Shack Master went to Washington, he peed on the front steps of the Supreme Court Building shortly after the decision was made to scrap provisions in the 1965 Voting Rights Act. It was a ceremonial act on his part, he knew that, but he did it in plain view of the surveillance cameras lurking on every light pole and he challenged the spies to come out of their lairs and put up a good fight for our privacy.

He had originally gone to DC simply to protest the overt use of drones and google earth and all the other methods the private and public agencies had unleashed upon the populace, all while in full view of the populace itself, cellphones and iPads and other electronic devices stuck to their ears and faces. Don’t worry, he was mad at the populace as well, all cattle being driven to consumer pasture. While he was there the Supreme Court ruled on the Voting Rights Act and he had a second cause to emphasize.

All we know is that he plans on heading to the House Chamber and “muss up Ted Cruz’s shiny hair” as he put it while loading supplies into the 1968 Buick Electra he calls home when he’s on the road. Keep your eye on the news and we’ll see what happens next. All I can say is that I’m ready to compromise.

I’m ready to compromise and end my personal shutdown and scrap ObamaCare if the NCNP agrees to universal health care, a clean, localized food system and will agree that climate change is real and we have to do something about it.

About climate change, I will personally lead the fact finding mission to the tundra of the Alaska Peninsula and point out with vigor the melting permafrost and the warming Bering Sea.

I am very willing to compromise.
I have so far listed but a few things of which I am willing to compromise but I realize the list goes on.

I am very willing to compromise.