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Did You Ever See Kirby Make The Sign Of The Cross After Striking Out?

    I remember Kirby Puckett of the Twins, who could hit anything thrown by anyone at any time, even if it was thrown over his head. Kirby did not like to walk. He usually crossed himself before swinging the lumber. Hell, he didn’t need God’s help to hit anything. But when he woke up one morning and he couldn’t see out of one eye, that’s when he needed God’s help. Did you ever see Kirby make the sign of the cross after striking out? Call me if you did.

  I watched the Denver Bronco–New England Patriot playoff game the other night out of curiosity and a love for the game. I wanted to see Tom Brady, who plays quarterback like Knute God would, and I was curious about Tim Tebow, who thinks Knute God may anoint his left arm. I kept waiting for Tebow to take a knee and bow. Does he take a knee and a bow only when he scores? He must have gone three-and-out a dozen times against the agnostic Patriots and I never saw him take a knee. I guess he finally realized God was throwing touchdowns on the other side.

   It reminded me of an old Woody Allen joke about religion. Woody was a sometime agnostic, so he asked God, “Please, God, give me a sign. Put a couple of million bucks in a Swiss bank account for me and I will believe.” Like Woody, I was waiting for the field lights to suddenly go out, or have the football be like a steaming-hot potato when the Patriots were on offense, or have a sudden thunder and lightning storm in the middle of a snowy Boston January. Nothing happened. Tebow played quarterback like Job or Judas would—and never went to a knee.